The top ten things to know about marriage before you get married

So I was talking with my wife the other day about the things that have surprised us about marriage. We've been married for two years, and already our preconceived notions of marriage have pretty much all been shot in the face. We also have friends who had these same notions, and at least one of them wasn't able to deal with the fact they weren't true, and they are now divorced. They lasted less than a year. So it is with these things in mind that I give you the top ten things to know before you get married, according to me.

1. You are not at the end of your problems. Or your worries. Or your fears. You are only at the beginning. Marriage brings challenges you've never considered, or didn't believe were really challenges. They ARE challenges, and you’d better be committed enough to your spouse to work through them, or it isn't even worth it to start.
   
2. Most of your personal freedoms are gone.
   I know that if you’re engaged to, or dating “the one,” you’re thinking you’ll never want to do anything without them. You will. You have hobbies. Your future spouse has hobbies. They aren't all the same (no matter how similar you are). You can’t just decide to go out to eat. Or to go to a movie. Or to just leave. You need to communicate when you’re going to leave, what you’re going to do, who you’re going to be with, and when you’re going to be home. Get used to it. It takes effort and adjustment to be “of one flesh.”
   
3. Count on getting angry.
   You cannot get married and never have an argument. That isn't something that only “dysfunctional” couples do. All of us do it. No matter how strong our marriage. And sometimes we actually need to leave and take a breather. It’s ok for that to happen, as long as you both know that you’ll eventually figure things out, and the argument doesn't make your love for them change.
   
4. The “Honeymoon stage” is a real thing.And no, it doesn't last your entire marriage. In fact, it usually doesn't last more than a few months. Sex is great, but once life sets in, and you’re aware of bills, school, your job, your in-laws, children, etc., the honeymoon stage wears off, and suddenly, it’s not as high up on your priority list as it used to be. That’s ok too, as long as you make sure the flame stays there.
   
5. You’re going to have to work at staying in Love.
   It’s true. Staying in love can’t just be expected to happen. It requires work. Hard work. It’s grueling. It’s heart breaking. You will be physically, emotionally, and mentally drained. You’ll wonder if it’s worth it. It is. It always is. But you still have to work for it.
   
6. Trust must be earned, not demanded.
   You need to earn the trust of your spouse. You cannot expect that just because you’re getting married, your spouse will trust you about everything. You need to prove that you’re trustworthy. They want to trust you. So that means sharing passwords to your Facebook account, or your email account. That means taking them seriously when they don’t want you to talk to an old flame. That means letting them know you’re leaving, making sure it’s ok with them, and letting them know when you’ll be back. That means that keeping them “safe” from the truth, no matter what it is, is not a good enough excuse to lie. Ever. (Of course, laws and other commitments that require confidentiality don’t apply here). Trust cannot be just assumed to exist. It must be earned, and it must be earned quickly if the marriage is going to last.
   
7. It’s probably your fault.
   Or at least partly. And your spouse will be very good at pointing that out. And you’ll be good at pointing it out too. The key here will be to recognize that you both have faults (yes, that includes you), and to always point at least a small finger of blame at yourself. I have never met an argument that wasn't at least partially my fault, no matter how much I tried to convince myself that it was all my wife’s fault.
   
8. You will need to get over your need to be right.
   Being right all the time isn't possible. Insisting on being right all the time will just cause conflict. You have nothing to prove to your spouse. They’re married to you. You don’t need to prove that they’re wrong and you’re right. You don’t need to prove that you’re super smart or talented. Odds are, that’s why they married you. Now you need to be humble, and be able to own it when you’re wrong. Few things say “I love you” more than “you’re more important to me than being right.” Surprisingly, this is a hard lesson to learn and odds are you’ll learn it several times over before you get it.
   
9. Your love and gratitude for your spouse are never “just assumed.”
   You need to say “I love You” and express appreciation for your spouse. Just because you’re married doesn't mean you can stop saying those things. In fact, once you’re married, those things become even more important. Don’t forget that your spouse needs it!
   
10. You think you’re in love? You don’t know the half of it.
    Before you get married, you find it difficult to believe that you could ever love your future spouse any more than you already do. No matter how long you've been together before you get married, the love always increases after. And a lot. I’m not talking steamy, or even romantic, although they increase too. I’m just talking love. Looking back on my relationship with my before she was my wife, I wonder what the heck to call it. Because that compared to what we have now seems so insubstantial and insignificant. 

 Most of the things above seem like they are hard. And they are. No one (who’s ever been married) said that marriage was easy. You may be wondering why it’s worth it. Or if it’s worth it at all. I assure you, it is. Marriage is the best thing that has ever happened to me. However, like all good things, marriage requires work, and TLC. If it didn't, it would be worth less than the paper the marriage certificate is printed on. If you EARN your marriage, it will last, and your happiness and love will continue to be compounded throughout your life.

Sister Missionaries: The Respect They Deserve

Now That I've sent my little brother on a mission, I'm thinking of all sorts of things that I wish I told him before he left. Some of them, I'm positive He knows or will figure out quickly. Others will probably take a while. This is one of those things that I'm sure he knows, but that I saw a lot of Elders in my own mission never figure out:
Sister Missionaries are the best. That's right, I said it. They rock. During my first few months as a missionary, I unfortunately heard from several Elders that sister missionaries were basically all out there to vacation. They were lazy, and they all thought that they were more worthy of the priesthood than the Elders. First of all, FALSE. Second of all, numbers do not lie. On my BEST weeks and transfers, I could usually count on the sister missionaries in my district or zone doubling my numbers. All of them. Yes, that includes baptisms. Sister missionaries are machines. They know what they teach, they believe it, and they're dang good at teaching it. These courageous and talented young women are out for the right reasons.
Now lets turn the tables for a moment. I didn't meet a single sister missionary on my mission who was a slacker, or who didn't give it her all. But Elders! I don't know how many of them I met that were vacationing, or who were lazy, and some who had no idea why they were out. The sad part was, these were the missionaries who were complaining about sister missionaries.
Now, I am not saying that ALL sister missionaries are flippin awesome. I'm sure there are exceptions. I just never met one. And only a few elders were out for the wrong reasons, or because they had to be, or because they were "'posed to." It will happen, since there are just more Elders than Sisters. And LDS men have more pressure on them to serve a mission- but this isn't an excuse to slack off.
To all you prospective Sister Missionaries, and to all those currently serving or who have since returned, you are, and ought to be held in the highest regard. For those of you who choose to serve because you want to, and because your testimony is burning bright, I commend you, and hold you in the highest regards. I know that you got or will get push-back for wanting to go, or while you're out, or even after you get back. You don't deserve to be looked down upon. You deserve to be honored.
To all you wonderful women who have NOT served missions, you also should be held in the highest regard. If you choose to start a family, or pursue your education and a career, you will likely receive push-back no matter which path you choose. You are no less strong or grounded than those who have the opportunity to serve a mission, and equally deserving of respect.
So to all you prospective Elders, and to all you who are serving or have served, remember this: Sister Missionaries can do it as well as you can. They work hard, they receive inspiration, and they see miracles, and ARE miracles every day. There are people out there that only THEY can reach. And those people are just as common as the people that only YOU can reach. So give Sister Missionaries some respect. They deserve it.

This post can also be found at my blog about LDS feminism.

A Brother on a Mission: The older brother's wrestle to accept it

It wasn't so long ago that I left on my mission. I was eager to go. I thought leaving my family for two years would be harder, but the tears were short-lived, and easily outnumbered by the tears I shed when I had to come back home. I had a hard time understanding why people would say "I can't wait for you to come back home!" It was almost insulting. I loved being a missionary. Loved it. Why would anyone want to take that away from me?
I get it now. My little brother Collin just left on his mission a couple weeks ago. Collin and I are the closest of friends. I love that kid. He's an inspiration to me, and is already far ahead of where I was at the same point on my mission. He'd never allow that comment to stand, insisting that he feels like he hasn't moved anywhere accept to Mexico, but that's precisely why he's so far ahead. The kid is humble.
Anyway, I was saying that I understand where people were coming from when they wanted me to come home. I hope the next two years go by quickly. I don't hope for him to come home early, but I hope the next two years go by quickly for me, and slow enough for him. Its hard to wish that. It would be so easy to wish He could just come home tomorrow. And what if I want to talk to him right now? This minute? Tough. he sent his email today, and there won't be another one until next week. and maybe he'll respond to you next week, because he didn't have time to today. Maybe. Is this what he was going through while I was on MY mission?! Respect just went up. It is HARD. Now that he's out, I want to talk to him all the time. Its funny how when you lose something, you realize just how much you relied on it.
Collin is my only brother. I love all my siblings, but there is a special bond between brothers. I assume there's a similar bond between sisters, but having never been one, I can't speak to that. Anyway. The bond of brothers runs deep. Both of us have injured the other. Physically, mentally, emotionally. It happened. But we grew from it. That time when he punched me in the face? I deserved it. We laugh about it now. That one time when I accidentally threw him right into the bed frame and his head took the brunt of it? Oops... No (real) damage done, and yes, we laugh about it now. And we did all those other weird/gross things that only boys can think are funny, and they really were hilarious. At the time. Probably. But we also were able to speak about deep things, spiritual things, embarrassing things, emotional things. Believe it or not, we got emotional around each other, and it was ok. I know things about him that no one else knows, and vice versa. And we both know it will stay that way (no need to worry Mom and Dad- they're basically all just embarrassing things :P).
I watched him move from being unsure of his testimony and who he was and what he was supposed to do, to knowing, with fervent zeal that he is a son of God, that he was called to serve him, and that we would do just that- with all his heart, might, mind, and strength. He prepared like I've never seen any one prepare, and that kid entered the Mexico MTC an Elder, prepared from the beginning and endowed with power from on high to preach the word of God and be the instrument through which God will restore many of His children to the knowledge of their savior and their divine potential. What an amazing gift!
I have always loved and bragged all over my brother, but I have never been more proud of him. He is a man. He has "put away childish things" if you will. He has put everything on hold for two years, and yes, that includes me. That includes our Mom. That includes his music, his school, his friends. All on hold. And is it worth it? Of course. Of course it is.
God Speed brother. May God lift you when you fall, and strengthen you when you are weak, speak through your mouth to his children, and work with your hands to serve them. I know He will.
And to all you who are still reading and watched this take a turn for the personal and sentimental, deal with it. I love my brother.
To all the other brothers out there who are missing their brothers on missions, whether they be brothers by blood or brothers by bond, don't take this time for granted. Don't wish your brothers home soon. Encourage them to keep going, and to lose themselves in the work. That's what they need. They need to hear it from you. They expect to hear it from their Moms and Dads. But they need to hear it from you. Write to them regularly so that they know that they still matter to you, and that you are praying for them. Let them know that you want them to succeed. Do not tell them how many days/weeks/months they have left. Most of all, tell them you love them, and that you look up to them, and that you are glad that they are there, and not at home. They need to know that YOU know that they are exactly where they are supposed to be. The support of a brother is powerful. Few things are more powerful. Be free with your support, and give it all, and they will teach and preach with power. This I know. Because it is what happened to me. Now I hope to  be the same for him, as he was for me.

Oldies but Goodies: Why the "A.T. 40" Sucks

This last week, I yet again got fed up with "America's Top 40". I don't know why, but I can only take it in small doses. If it get it in large doses my brain starts to shrivel up, and I start to get less smart, so I try not to OD.

I have a tedious desk job that requires me to stare at the computer screen the whole time. Naturally, I and my co-workers turn to online radio stations or other music streaming players to keep ourselves from going insane. I listen to the "Top 40" stuff on occasion, but it always ends up numbing my brain, and I have to find something a little more... stimulating. I almost always turn to "old" music, which usually means classic rock of the 70's and 80's. Mostly the 80's. Those usually get me back into my groove, and I don't feel like I'm going to turn into a vegetable.

Anyway, this last week, I saw a commercial on TV with the background music being "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter." I remembered hearing it when I was younger and was somewhat pleased that it was on a modern commercial. I have no idea what the commercial for. So the other day, I was in my familiar trance from the repetitive beats and 4-note songs of the "A.T. 40" I needed something else to listen to, and didn't feel like listening Led Zeppelin, or Black Sabbath, or Styx, or Bon Jovi. And then this song popped into my head. "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter." I had heard it a lot when I was just a young one, because my siblings and I weren't allowed to listen to the "A.T. 40," and now I know why. Its not necessarily that it's bad music (though often it is), its that it requires very little talent, and numbs your brain. Anyway, I turned on Spotify, and searched for it, and found a playlist of 60's music. I listened to my original search, and then kept listening to the playlist. At first, I didn't really think anything of it, because I didn't know the songs that came after it, but then this song played:


It may not sound like it's a smash hit, but of all the songs from my childhood that I heard, this song is the one that sticks in my memory most. We would sing it in the car and at home, and would hum it. Even more recently, I have caught myself humming it. I loved, and still love this song. I still don't know if the guy is talking about a person, or the actual wind, and that's part of why I like it so much. It makes you think. Good music, that is, REALLY good music will stimulate your mind, and get you thinking. For me, it got me thinking about my earlier years, the road trips where my siblings and I would sing in the car and very likely drive our parents crazy, and just dancing like crazy people to any upbeat song that came on the radio, or that our parents would play on our top-of-the-line tape deck/turntable. I miss those days. I miss when music was decent, even what was then the Top 40, and that didn't really need to be filtered, or turned off around small children. I miss when my dad would turn on the radio in his truck with just me in there with him, and he would tell me that "this" is rock 'n roll. And he wasn't ashamed to like it, and didn't need to worry that it would corrupt my impressionable mind. Why can't we have music like that anymore? There is music that I like today, that I would not get caught dead sharing with my 4-year-old son. I would be ashamed that I even like it. We need more music like this:



This blog doesn't get out to many people, but if it somehow gets to any artists out there, or people who want to write to music, I challenge you to write music that is catchy, clean, and cranial. Make us think, stimulate our minds, not just our bodies. Its great to have stuff to work out to, but there's a serious lack of stuff that will get my foot tapping, and keep my mind active too. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Our generation is not happy with the music that we have produced. We crave better music, with better lyrics, and more talent involved. Show me an artist who can do this, and I'll show you an artist who will enjoy success to the fullest.

Don't Go to Bed Angry

My wife and I went to bed at 1 am the other night. There is nothing particularly odd about this, but we hadn't said anything to each other since about midnight. The reasons were your everyday marital stresses- we were a bit grumpy, we said rude things, and we both chose to take offense. I say "chose" because had the same words been spoken earlier or when even only one of us was in a better mood, we would have easily avoided giving each other the silent treatment.

Anyway, that night, we went to bed an turned out the light without saying goodnight, I love you, or kissing goodnight. We didn't even face each other. I even laid on the side that I cannot fall asleep on, and which happened that day to be the side that irritated the painfully pinched nerve in my neck. I did that because I was mad, and for once I was going to make my wife apologize first. A story my mom told me right before I got married came to mind right about the time my neck really started hurting. She and my dad had been married for a short time when they had an argument. It followed about the same pattern as my own just had. That night, my dad went right to sleep, but my mom could not get there even though she was exhausted. She tossed and turned for hours until she finally woke my dad up and apologized to him. She then slipped off quite easily. Well, I didn't much of this, and convinced myself that this wouldn't happen to me. However, anyone that knows my mom and I, can attest that most of my personality genes came from her. After tossing an turning until about 2:30, I quietly asked my wife if she was awake. No answer. I asked again, a little more intently this time. No answer. My pride still forbade me from waking her, so I concentrated on going to sleep. The problem with concentrating on anything when trying to go to sleep, is that you cannot go to sleep. After a time, though, I managed to slip off into a fitful sleep where my dreams left me panting and waking up in a sweat. Needless to say I got no actual rest. It was at this point, at about 4:30 that my pride had finally been kicked hard enough that it would let me do what I so desperately needed to do. I woke up my wife, apologized and asked for her forgiveness. She promptly and frankly forgave me, and immediately returned the apology, which I immediately accepted and forgave. I fell asleep almost instantly into a beautiful dreamless sleep. I learned once that the human sleep cycle ought to occur twice in an 8 hour period for a person to feel totally rested. I got through maybe one. So I was still exhausted the next day. A hard price to pay when my job involves staring at a computer screen and fixing little details. However, I learned much from this exercise. Aside from the well known, "don't go to bed mad" lesson, I learned why, and honestly, it has little to so with sleep. It has everything to do with your pride, and where it belongs in your marriage. That is, it doesn't belong there at all. Also, being happy or at least content does wonders for your mental and physical health, and so allowing little things to fester and become huge things is actually bad for your health.

A Conservative Rant

Ok, I know that there are a lot of people out there right now that either dont care or dont know what is going on with the fiscal cliff, and gun control and whatnot. I'm not an expert, i'm just going off of my own research and what I'm seeing in the news (as well as what I'm NOT seeing in the news). First of all, how the HECK is raising taxes AND spending going to help the economy? how is raising spending going to help, mostly? I mean, it's one thing to give people a raise when they deserve it, and when the economy can support it, but really, Mr. President, you're giving raises to people who have driven this economy into the ground, and expect it to get better? Really? I dont actually know enough about the Fiscal Cliff to tell you whats going on there, but if the plan you're making is going to eventually throw us off of it, Imma not be happy!
Ok and gun control. What is wrong with the media?! There's this thing called accurate reporting, and you're not doing it! Yeah there's a heap of stories of people shooting other people and it's terrible, but you dont cover ANY events where people carrying guns actually stop BAD people carrying guns from doing any damage! That happens just as often. But no, the Media has an agenda, and so all you hear about are the tragedies cause by "guns." And can we PLEASE get something straight? People Kill People. Guns, knives, clubs, brass knuckles, and the like are simply weapons of choice. They cannon inherently kill anything. They require a PERSON to pull the trigger, thrust them at someone, and so on. And are you people who say we need more gun control blind to whats going on? Only the honest people who would NEVER kill anyone will follow the laws. I mean look at Chicago- completely "disarmed" and yet they have more homicides with a firearm than ever. If you think that making laws will prevent shootings from happening, think again. Plus, look at Switzerland. They issue EVERY 18-year-old a gun, and train them how to use them. Gun-related crimes? Almost none. LOGIC, people.
Ok, thats the rant. Comment if you like, just know that I'm not really trying to start an argument or even a discussion.

Mom and Pop PR

Marketing and PR made Easy

Lots of people with small businesses have trouble competing with the big fish. The big fish can hire other people to do their marketing and PR for them. So these small business take what they can get. It doesn't have to be like that though. Small businesses can have powerful influences and large followings that will have them working overtime. The secret is getting over the old rules of marketing and PR. My PR class has been studying The New Rules of Marketing and PR by David Meerman Scott. The result of this study is the the making of four videos that will teach all of you who want a larger influence, how to use social media and the internet in general to build your following without spending any money, and by using your knowledge of your profession to attract an audience. The goals of these videos is to make it easy for businesses to start doing the basics, and show those who are new to social media how to start.

Mom and Pop PR

The official Blog for Mom and Pop PR will continue to have updates, so please subscribe there and feel free to ask any questions!

Tribute to My Dad

Tribute to Dad

There are few pleasures in life greater than being son,

When his father has taught him how to work straight,

And not quit, ‘til the job was done.

When son crashed and scraped his knees and face,  

Father rushed to his aid,

“It’s ok to fall, if you stand up- stand up and take yourplace.”

When son rebelled, and thought he knew what was best,

Father came in his time of need to help him pass histest,

And though he did not bail his boy out,

His love and counsel were enough,

To remind the boy that it wasn’t too late to forsake, andchange his route.   

When the time came for the boy to leave and serve theLord,

Father’s tears broke the boy’s heart,

But his embrace gave him the strength to go, go andpreach the word.

When the boy married to be with the woman of his dreams,

His father counseled him best when he said,

“Love her every day, every day make sure she beams.”

Father’s responsibility to raise me to manhood now is all but done,

But to this day I am honored above all

When people say, “you are your father’s son!”

I'd love to say that I spent days and weeks writing this poem for my dad. He deserves at least that much work for something like this. However, I'm happy to say that in the hour it took me to write this, I was reminded of each spotlighted incident very poignantly, to the point of tears, as if I was not the one who actually wrote this poem. The idea to write it, and the memories that influenced it's production came from a power beyond me that knew that to me, a simple phone call would not be enough to give my dad the honor and the gratitude that he deserves. I love you dad!

Me Mudder

There were a lot of awesome posts on sunday about awesome Moms, and several people in church praised their mothers' amazing qualities. I must say, to be fair, that every mother is amazing, just for being a mother. However, I hope all you mothers out there wont be offended when I say that MY mother takes the cake. She's the best, hands down. I heard stories from various people that had it hard with their mothers but still respected them, some who didn't really have a relationship with their moms for a long time and then later in life became close to them, and still others who felt that their mom was the greatest woman ever to walk the planet. I have to say I put myself with the third group. My Mom is the best. She raised six kids, 4 girls and 2 boys. She managed this without going crazy. She managed this without making an enemy of any of us. I dont think any of us could ever say "my mom and i dont really get along." Mom has always been there for me whenever i needed her, whether i deserved her help or not. there were several late-night projects that only got done because she helped. Mom always encouraged me, and all of us to be our best, and get better at whatever we did. She pushed us to develop our talents. Mom fulfills all of her motherly responsibilities. On top of all this, she directs 4- count them- FOUR community choirs. Thats not all though, no, not even close. She also started all these choirs, who each have a specific age group in them, and then she started a non-profit organization called the Voices for the Performing Arts, and has recently added a strings program to this organization. Her concerts are huge, and she writes the scripts for each, and directs the set make, and even decides what kind of lighting she wants. You'd think that anyone who stretched themselves that thin would be irritable and stressed and tired all the time. Not mom. Everyone loves her. I dont know a single person who knows her, and doesn't love her. My mom has a capacity to love that is just so rare among humanity. Even when i fell hard, as result of open rebellion to everything she had taught me, she was still there to pick me up, and help me heal. She has given great advice, and helped me make important decisions that have made all the difference. Mom isn't too good for anyone. She loves everyone. No one is below her. She lifts everyone to where she is. She manages to see the good in everyone. Mom is intelligent. She figures things out for herself whenever she can, but isn't to prideful to ask for help. I could keep going, but I think this is sufficient for now, I dont want to brag TOO much. I love you mom. You're the best.

Marriage- A Love Story

One could say that I've experienced my share of miracles. Most of them have been an adventure for me, whether it was falling off a cliff and suffering nothing more that some minor shock, or serving a mission which led to my open heart surgery, which ended up saving my life, or the mission itself which changed me forever. However, the most miraculous event of my life happened a month and a half ago, when I married my best friend, Heather.
Many people would call it a cliche story, seeing as we only started dating 5 months ago. You can use all your "BYU-I do" jokes you want, or tell me it was too fast, or I or She is too young, or whatever, but after experiencing what I have experienced, it doesn't bother me.
Heather and I met kind of accidentally. We had a mutual friend, who introduced us kind of without trying to. We were all going to a dance party, and there was a big group of us going. The only problem with that was that we only had a 5-seater car. So we all crammed in to that car, and as it turns out, Heather ended up on my lap in the back of this car. We had never met, and we both recognized the awkwardness of the situation. We didn't speak. At all. Not for the whole night. In fact, I started dating someone else, and she took interest in someone else as well. One would think that we had missed our chance. I didn't even know that one had existed. Neither did she really. Apparently, we ran into each other a few more times, where she noticed me, but I was preoccupied with other things (clueless guy).
Anyway, the girl I was dating at that time had her missionary came home, and after a rude awakening that she was not mine, and confirmation that she belonged to someone else, and that there was indeed some else out there for me, we ended our relationship while keeping the friendship alive and well. I thought that  it would be a long time before I could let myself get back into the game. I was hurt and I had no idea how the healing would come. However, God's timing is hard to argue with, and at my request, and probably His intent anyway, the healing came only days later, and I was ok again, and even ready to move on. It was at this time that I started looking at the mutual friend of me and Heather's. I had no idea where to start, so I started close. However, it became very apparent that she was not interested, and at this same time, Heather had lost her previous interests in the another guy, and again noticed me.
Little did I know, she was gathering lots of information about me from our mutual friends, and facebook. One night, I was bored, and needed to get out, so I called up my friend and asked if she wanted to go on a drive. She came with another friend, and Heather. There was again strict silence between Heather and I, but apparently, in my sleep-deprived state, she saw something attractive. I have to admit, I thought she was cute, but I adhered to the common stereotype of freshman girls- which more or less was, avoid them.
However, that night, she decided to add me as a friend on facebook. I accepted, although in all honesty, I really knew nothing about her.
The next day I learned that she liked me, and thats when everything changed. It intrigued me. This girl that I knew nothing about, besides the fact that she looked like she was really fun, liked me. So that night, I started a nonchalant conversation on facebook. I started asking your normal questions, and eventually, I indirectly pulled it out of her that she liked me. I left it at that, and after some facebook stalking of my own, decided I was interested in her. I didnt really know if it would go anywhere, but at this point, I had nothing to lose. I soon found out however, that this was the best decision of my life. As we started spending time together, it was very easy to like Heather, and to talk to her.
It had only been about a week since we started talking, when i found myself doing homework, and prompted to ask her to be my girlfriend. My logic and defense systems all said heck no, its way too early for that, but the prompting kept coming. And it wouldn't go away! I could not focus on my homework. The assignment should have taken me 20 minutes. It ended up taking 2 hours. So finally, I gave in, and the next night, I asked her out. She was hesitant. She knew that i was looking for a serious relationship that preferably led to marriage. She said yes eventually, after I convinced her that I wasn't crazy, just over being single. It didn't take long until we were together every day, for as long as possible. I was happy with the relationship, and as the end of the semester quickly approached, I started wondering what would happen when we left, since we wouldn't be back for another 4 months. 2 days before the end of the semester, i woke up with the impression that i ought to mention marriage to her. The idea was laughable to me. But the impression was strong and persistent. So she came over that morning, and as we talked, I very carefully brought it up. She looked at me with what i just knew was the "are you crazy?!" face. But she surprised me when she indicated that she felt the same. After comparing notes, we found that we had both received the same inspiration at the same time. That morning.
We didn't really know how to go about making this happen, and kept this information to ourselves at the time. However, two weeks later when she came to visit my family, it became obvious that we needed to do it sooner rather than later, and it wasn't long until we both received confirmation that we should indeed get married. So we decided on a date, which just happened to be March 30, 2012. Exactly 1 year to the day from the day i got home from my mission.
The proposal supposed to be a surprise, coming earlier than i told her it would, but she caught wind of it, and was only mildly surprised. But it was pretty cool, so I'm gonna tell you about it. :) The ring is actually her mom's, so I didn't have to buy one, but I found out what her birth stone was, (topaz) and her favorite color is pink, so i found a pink topaz pendant. I proceeded to get the ring without her knowing, and bought the pendant. when she came to visit, i woke her up early and we watched a sunrise. We ate a big breakfast, then later went to lunch in town, and then came back and i took her on a tour of my family's property, and took her to my favorite spot. Here, i gave her the pendant. Then that night, we went on a formal date. We ate dinner at a restaurant that looked out on a board walk around a lake, and afterwards we walked around the lake, until we found a bench where we sat down, and it was here that i told her i was about to do something crazy- and then i knelt down, and asked her to marry me. She accepted, and from that point on, we planned the wedding. it was the longest 2 months of my life. However, we got closer over this period, and learned a lot about each other while we waited. The day finally came however, and we were married for time and all eternity in the Columbia River LDS Temple.
Now, we are back in rexburg, and we have 3 classes together, and we're happier than ever! :)